happy ending =/= happily ever after

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
9housecavalier

Anonymous asked:

do u care to elaborate on why tlt would be worse as a visual adaptation? the issue that comes to my mind would be that the unreliable narration and the sense that the main character has no clue what is going on would be way harder to get across on film, but i'm curious if there would be other problems

theriverbeyond answered:

sure! also sorry this ended up being rlly long lmao.

the unreliable narrator part of the books is a big reason why I think the series would be worse as a visual adaption. overall, GtN as a standalone would probably adapt okay, but you would still lose Gideon’s unreliable narration and all of her gorgeous & funny prose. NtN would probably be just okay as well, but again you would still lose her subjective narrative voice and the specific way she perceives the world. like….. at their best, a visual adaption (animated or live action) of NtN or GtN would still be less-than the book because both are stories that so heavily rely on their specific narrator’s internal subjective experience.

and that’s not even getting started on HtN – I have no idea how one would adapt HtN into a 3rd person narration in any way without drastically changing it. and in changing the format, you lose the backbone of the story (Gideon Telling Harrow a story about herself), and you lose the disorientation of Harrow’s lobotomy. you lose the viewer experience of confusion/self doubt/etc that just makes HtN what it is. I just can’t see a visual adaptation succeeding without making massive sacrifices that I just don’t think are worth it. like…. these books are good because of things that don’t translate to video. video isn’t the pinnacle of media. if something was designed to be a book/audiobook and it does an amazing job as that, I just do not see any reason to sacrifice a bunch of what made it good just to see it on a screen.

Secondly, I do not think a visual adaption would be able to retain fidelity to the source material, because everyone in tlt is gross all of the time. I love fan artists having fun with the designs but IMO that’s not the same as an official adaption. like, not only is necromancy gross, a lot of the characters are described with traits what would probably not survive the transition to camera or animation. Such as: bloodsweat, Harrow being a wet rat constantly covered in vomit or blood or both, Silas looking jaundice/like mayo, Issac & Jeannemary looking like they are going through all the terrible parts of puberty etc. Gideon has a pimple problem and a crooked smile and Ianthe is gross and constantly wearing clothing that absolutely does not fit her. Mercymorn has a resting bitchface, G1deon looks like a skeleton with skin, etc etc. Anime or arcane-style animation would probably be better, at least with stuff like necromantic gore and bloodsweat, but they would probably still end up being like. conventionally attractive! idk maybe this is more of a personal preference but it’s kind of important to me that they are not.

I have 3 personal exceptions:

  1. Stage musical adaption. I think a stage musical could capture the drama, the emotion, and the camp needed. for GtN at least, but maybe even beyond. everyone is seen from a minimum of 50 feet away so they can use exaggerated makeup and really lean into all the ugly. practical effects for necromancy, musical numbers for the marta/cam duel and initial gideon/harrow fight…. palamades’ explosion happening offstage as gideon stands frozen in the middle, her and us helpless and unable to do anything but wait. massive puppets for the lab 2/final boss construct. dramatic lighting to signify eye change/lyctorhood…. gideon falls on a rail and then everything goes totally black. silence, or maybe crying. harrow screams gideon’s name. then lights up on gideon standing behind harrow, holding the sword together, under a narrow beam light. it could be good. and i think a stage musical could bring in enough of a meta-level awareness to make up for the lack of narration. for example, when she’s trying to do her big speech, ianthe keeps trying to sing a song but the music refuses to start for her. & before lyctorhood, she stands literally in corona’s spotlight shadow. gideon makes harrow out to be this big scary witch but she is just very tiny under a big spotlight. “dulcinea” could have her face covered on stage until the reveal, leaving the audience to realize they were had. while a stage musical would lose some parts, it could enhance the story in its own way. GtN but to the left. it could be fun. i have put a lot of thought into this.
  2. a comedy short film, shot rom com style (or animated like a shoujo), of Ianthe’s POV of HtN.
  3. a comedy short film, shot like the office/parks and recreation, of Ianthe’s POV of Antioch
the locked tomb
9housecavalier
nonas-third-tantrum

I’m thinking about this passage:

image

because hollywood hair barbie!Alecto gets all the attention but let’s take a moment to look at the other extremely specific doll mentioned here, bride’s dream midge aka this gal:

image

whose hair John says very specifically was cut into a “weird mullet”

who do we know with red hair that could very well be styled as a mullet? who wears all white? who is mega dead but not quite, made mobile, dressed up and paraded around?

oh right. Kiriona Gaia. the other doll. the less favored doll.

hey wait no nona the ninth the locked tomb
9housecavalier
blankinsidecards

thinking about Aiglamene. Like, so

a child crash lands in town. mystery where she came from. the mother is dead. this tiny redheaded thing has no one in the world. the town takes her in because what else are you supposed to do with a orphan dropped on your doorstep, but they don’t love her. the reverend family needs an heir, so they kill every single child on the planet- wait, scratch that, all but one. this one kid is alive, she’s alive, against all odds. so naturally, everyone’s scared of her. everyone hates her. out of all the children to survive why was it the one no one cared about. but they move on, everyone does, and the kid grows. and she starts asking questions. you start answering them. you start telling her stories, and it’s nice to be listened to, even if the kid is just a twerp. you start teaching her, she’s a natural with a sword, but you don’t tell her because it’ll go to her head. you’ve never had a maternal bone in your body, you aren’t mothering her… but she’s got nobody. and neither do you. you train her, you teach her, you tell her she can get out, get free from this place, if she works hard enough, fights good enough. she works hard. she fights well, better than you ever did at her age. she tries to get out. she gets caught. she tries again. and again. and again. and eventually, there’s a chance, a real chance. you’re the only person in the world who could get through this kid’s thick skull, and you tell her: this is your chance, this is it, you’re getting out, you’re leaving me, you’re never coming back, you’ve going to live, you have to get out now. and she goes. she goes, and she doesn’t come back. she doesn’t come back, and then she does… and she’s dead. she’s dead, and she’s back, the two things you prayed wouldn’t happen. she’s back and she’s dead and this is your child, you raised her, and you sent her off, promising a bright future, and it killed her.

aiglamene gideon nav the locked tomb
iamanoccasionaldoodler
iamanoccasionaldoodler

I don't know if the paperback bonus content is available online anywhere and I'm not sure whether this comes from HtN or GtN (I read both their bonus content at the same time in a bookstore - thematically I feel like it's a Gideon bonus bit? But I'm not sure) but the bit about cavalier/necromancer relations makes me INSANE. Like they go ON AND ON about how you CANNOT be too attached to your partner and it is totally taboo for your partner to be your lover but ALSO to be a family member of yours - to the point that apparently the third house (who get paired up in childhood) has faced scrutiny from other houses because being raised together might lead to the development of a sibling relationship.

And post GtN this seems very sinister. Gideon even notes that cavalier's use of the rapier makes sense considering it's the lightest sword and thus the easiest for a necromancer-turned-Lyctor to use. It really feels at the end of the book like this has been the end point of the Necro/cav dynamic all along. Cavaliers are just there as meat bags to be eaten, and you're not allowed to love them because obviously they're just there to learn the sword for you and then get gobbled.

And then we get to Harrow and we find out that no!!!! That's not what it was supposed to be at all!!!!! Abigail and Magnus, Camilla and Palamedes, Gideon and Harrow - they haven't gotten cavalierhood wrong, they got it right! That's what it always was! It was original Lyctorhood that ruined the relationship of necromancer and cavalier!

The thing that makes necros hold their cavs at arms length (and vice versa) isn't a sinister plot; it's /grief/. It's ten thousand year old grief. It's an ENTIRE SOCIETY running on the logic that grieving people so often find themselves clinging to in the wake of loss: love like this hurts too much to lose, so I won't ever love like that again.

AND IT DOESNT EVEN FUCKING WORK! YOU CANT JUST NOT LOVE PEOPLE!!!! ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!! THATS THE THESIS OF THIS ENTIRE GODDAMNED SERIES!!!! YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE LOVE. AND SO YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE GRIEF.

gideon the ninth harrow the ninth the locked tomb
witchhastings
t4tails

i dont really know how to articulate this but its crazy just how many people dont even realize they dont care about female characters. all their faves are men. they never talk about girls without being led into it. and when you try to point this out to them they try to defend themselves that their faves are just the archetypes they like, despite clearly not caring when that same archetype is a woman. like i feel like at a certain point it is your problem with the common denominator if you cant find a single female character to enjoy

moonlovingvampire
jessicalprice

y’all killed off a LOT of our poor people less than a century ago which also tends to skew the average

spacelazarwolf

remembering that time I explained on Twitter that Jews are 0.2% of the world’s population and control like 1.2% of its wealth

while Christians are 30-something percent of the world’s population and control 55% of its wealth

so, like, there IS a minority of the world’s population controlling the majority of its wealth

Christians.

and of course a bunch of utter walnuts were like “SEE??? this proves that Jews ARE disproportionately wealthy!!!”

which, like, sure

sure

we have $1.20 to Christians’ $55

but sure, individually we average out to having a bit more pocket change than the world’s average


a couple of things, though:

-those are AVERAGES—it doesn’t mean that every Jew you meet is wealthy, especially because…

-we are such a small population that the existence of *one Jewish billionaire* would skew the average, learn what an average is ffs, if there are 10 of us and 1 is a billionaire and the rest of us have $0 dollars, on average we each have $100,000,000 but in reality 9 of us still have $0 dollars

-y’all killed off a LOT of our poor people less than a century ago which also tends to skew the average


The minority group (in the sense of being less than half the population; they’re still the largest religion) controlling the majority of the world’s wealth is Christians. Sorry about your favorite conspiracy theory.

i want to print that out and staple it to ppl's foreheads. a lot of the jews who fled extreme violence, genocide, and ethnic cleansing were only able to do so because they had the funds. those who couldn't afford to leave were killed. and those who were barely able to scrape by enough to escape usually were forced into assimilation wherever they immigrated because poverty doesn't give you much of a choice.

ofthedirewolves
jellybeanium124

Hey. Gentiles. Listen up for a sec.

When September and October are nearing and you’re planning an event: google “Rosh Hashanah *year*” and *Yom Kippur *year*” and then, and I cannot stress this enough, don’t plan your event on those days. In fact, don’t plan any events starting sundown the night before. Those are the three most important days of the Jewish calendar, and, once again, I cannot stress enough how much this little bit of forethought and kindness will make every Jew you know cry tears of joy.

memetheon

in 2023, the night before Rosh Hashanah is Thursday evening, September 14.

Rosh Hashanah ends Sunday evening, September 17.

calendar date

in 2023, the night before Yom Kippur is Saturday evening, September 23.

Yom Kippur ends Monday evening, September 25.

calendar date

fishfingersandscarves
studentofetherium

CGI animators should unionize next. normally, their jobs would be too precarious to strike, since studios would replace them without a second thought, but if it's part of this larger general film strike, they might finally have meaningful power to better their working conditions

studentofetherium

if CGI animators unionized, it would kill the MCU. straight up. the the entire business model is built on exploiting CGI animators

rifleweeb

image
unculture

THEY ARE TRYING!!!!! SIGN THE PETITION TO GET THE DISNEY ANIMATORS' UNION RECOGNIZED

clustxr

this petition is from IATSE (union), btw! it actually has credibility, unlike most change.org/etc petitions! please sign it!!